Coffee & Alone Time

Standard

So the short kid started 7th grade today. I know it sounds super cliche, but I swear, she was just a toddler who was working on potty training. Now she’s an angsty preteen in middle school. The old adage of “You’ll blink and they’ll be grown up” is really true.

I’m definitely proud of how far she has come, and what she’s accomplished thus far. I know she’s going to grow up as a intelligent, down to earth woman. In the meantime, I hope she doesn’t flunk out of Honors Math.. as it was damn close last time. Haha.

As odd as it is to have everyone out of the house, I am enjoying it. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve had alone time since the beginning of summer.. and still have fingers left over. It was a very, very hectic summer, and to be frank, I’m glad it’s over. Just having the house to myself, being able to tackle the chores and start dinner is glorious.

Just attempting to get back into the normal flow of things, now that life has settled down a bit. The last few months just really wore me down. We had a lot of issues with Jon’s daughter, and without getting into it too much, she needs very intensive long term therapy before she can come back to visit. Now that that seems to be underway, it’s time for me to focus on my own daughter and my own life.

One thing I’ve learned, or rather re-learned this summer, is that when you are trying to take care of everyone else, you cannot neglect yourself. It becomes all to easy to just throw yourself into holding your family or friends together, that you just forget about you. It’s easy to brush off “me-time” with the excuse that you’ll always have time later. It’s easy to put off activities and hobbies that you enjoy because it’s just too hectic.. or worse, it seems wrong when everything else seems to be going downhill. I’m definitely guilty of it, and especially so this last summer. Now it’s time to get back to my life and the rest of my family.

Other than all of that, things are pretty okay in my world. Just paying attention to the shit show that is our political climate in the United States, and trying to enjoy the rest of the warm weather for the year. Our garden didn’t fair too well this year, so I’m trying to salvage what I can out of it, plan out how to prep it this fall, and what to plant next year. I’m going to add fertilizer & soil this fall and make sure it’s all weeded, and hopefully with a different layout next year, it’ll do better. I hope. Planning on laying some grass seed around our new fire pit and in the front yard this fall too, trying to get grass to grow in the shady areas is super difficult for me.

So that’s it for now. I figured I’d do an update post as I haven’t had much of a chance lately, and am also stuck with writer’s block again. Hope it lets up soon. Happy August y’all.

Daylight Savings Time – I’m alive!

Standard

Daylight Savings. My internal clock is all sorts of screwed up, my body feels like we jumped ahead multiple hours instead of just one. It should be just about dinner time, we’re just starting to prepare.. yet it’s 7:15pm. Crap. By the time it’s done it will be almost time for the short one to go to bed.

It’s almost spring. It’s almost time for the snow to stop, and rains to come. This week we’ve already started the rain, and have a bit of 60s to look forward to. Then it will get chilly again for a while it looks like.. just in time for my birthday in the beginning of April. Par for the course.

I do have to say, now that it’s daylight earlier and later, my body is getting back on a schedule. I’m one of those people who tend to sleep and wake with the sun. During the summer, I’m an awful companion as I’m wide awake at 5:30am and going strong until late night hours. I can survive on 5-7 hours of sleep without noticing. During the winter though? You guessed it, I’m tired by 5pm and can barely drag myself out of bed before 8am.

For someone with depression, it’s a recipe for disaster. I seem to spend all winter long sleeping, trying to find a way to keep moving and to cheer myself up, and wanting to sleep.

I noticed these last couple of weeks though, that I’m actually waking up on my own (sans alarm) when it’s light out. I am able to get out of bed rather quickly, at least for someone with IST and POTS. I am not exhausted all day, and have the motivation to get my chores done. The need for summer months is real.

My insomnia is still around though, but now that I’m not working, it’s more manageable. If I’m up, I’m up. I’ll play a game, or write a little bit. There’s no need to beat myself up for hours about “why can’t I just fall asleep, I have to be up for work soon”.. which we all know just makes it worse. Now, it’s just more quiet time I have to myself, plus.. there’s always new science articles to read!

I think my kiddo takes after me. She tend to go to bed early during the winter months, not to mention embrace days on the couch under our comforter when there’s snow on the ground. Now that daylight seems to be permeating our lives a bit more, we have plans to go on walks this week, and take care of some of the outside chores. At least we know how each other work for each season and can plan accordingly.

Ahh. 60 degrees with a little drizzle later this week. I’ll enjoy it while it lasts! I have to haul our old wooden bed frame out to the street for the garbage men to pick up, and the last wind storm knocked quite a few branches off of my trees. I’m looking forward to strapping on my junk boots and cracking a beer and spending some time taking care of it all. From the looks of it, the raccoons managed to knock over a couple of my ladders too.

The first few good days of spring are probably my favorite. It’s the time to open all the windows in the house and get the musty smell out. Time to get all the branches and stack them for kindling for the summer fires. There’s nothing like clearing your yard and planning (or re-planning) your garden and flower beds.

One of my favorite things? It’s time to feed the squirrels and raccoons. I live in a lower class subdivision, we all have modest houses and smallish yards. Of course, like all old neighborhoods, we have plenty of mice and raccoons who live right along side of us. The way I figure it, is they’re going to be there anyways, so they might as well get snacks. I usually clean out my pantry in the spring. Old cereal, chips, etc all get placed in a bowl in the front yard for the neighborhood scavengers. Any old fruit or veggies, even old bread I might have on hand, goes on top of the table on my deck or on my front step for the squirrels to scurry away with. Granted, I am a bit more careful with the old dog going outside around this time (as we’ve already learned the skunk lesson once, and don’t need to learn it again), I don’t mind having to take her out and check the yard first opposed to just letting her out the backdoor. I just figured, we all made it through the hard winter, why not share a bit of food I’m just going to toss (and the raccoons are going to raid from my trash) anyway?

This is also the time of year when we’ll see the neighborhood cats more. There’s a few strays that wander around, and a few bold outside pet-cats that stray more than a few blocks in the spring. Watching my two indoor cats bristle in the windows is amusing to say the least. Also lets me know if I need to set out a bowl of kibble too.

Spring is also for my projects to begin. I have to fix my bird feeder, as the fat squirrels last fall finally broke the rope that was thread through it. I need to organize the shed and build a second “attic shelf” in there. The deck will need to be scrubbed, the chairs hosed down, and once the last freeze is past, grass seed placed. The difference this spring? I won’t be doing it in between horrific days at work and panic attacks about work in the evenings and on the weekends. I’m absolutely looking forward to walking the short kid to school, then coming back to putz around with my projects and outside chores.

Before we know it, it’ll be summer, and it’ll be a whole new thing for me. This year, since I’m not working, I’ll have both girls at home with me. My daughter thrives off of structure, and the boyfriend’s daughter desperately needs it, so I’ll need to start coming up with a plan soon. Not to mention the regular chores that come with having kids during the warmer months. I need to replace the bicycle seat on Noodle’s bike and double check the chain. I need to find a neat way for the girls to store them when they’re done riding, as bikes strewn across my yard is amuisng, yet an open invitation for bike thieves. I need to weed through all of the sports equipment, throw out the broken stuff and replace anything that’s worn. I also need to dig out the flower garden for the tall kid, and get a flower planter for the short kid. Plus all 3 screens in their bedroom windows need to be replaced. Le sigh. Lets not even talk about clothes shopping.

Either way, this winter is coming to a close. Finally, and I think I made it, and I hope you did too.