Intolerance and Hate

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I had “friended” someone on Facebook that I knew as a child.  She was one of my mother’s friends and I looked up to her after my mom passed away.  I lost touch with her for years and the wonderful world of Facebook brought us back together.

Unfortunately the line that is drawn between us is way to great and I had to delete her.  Our political stances and morals/beliefs are too far apart and I can’t deal with that.  I’d say we’re polar opposites like me and my wonderful friend Em are,  but it’s beyond that.  I’m middle-left-leaning.  She’s so far right, I swear Obama turned gay and personally shat in her Wheaties

As most of you know two very important bills are up today that involves same-sex marriage and rights.  As most of you (should) know, I am FOR equal rights.  I acknowledge that in Christianity marriage is between a man and a woman, but I also realize that not all people are Christian.  Not all people think that way.  Frankly, I believe that marriage is between love and love.  If there so happen to be two penises in the equation, it doesn’t bother me.  If there happens to be two vaginas involved, fuck yes.

Anyway, so in my support of the gay community, I changed my profile picture and posted this:

Booyah bitches.

Booyah bitches.

 

… among other things.  Well, it attracted my mother’s friend.  Her response was to compare same sex marriage to pedophilia.  Yeah.  I’m not cool with that.  I am not even going to waste time to type why I’m not cool with that.  If you don’t know the difference between pedophilia and a same-sex relationship, or think there is any kind of comparison or lead to pedophilia, you honestly shouldn’t be reading my blog.  Or on my Facebook.  Or anywhere near my corner of the internet/county/state.

I informed her that I thought it was a disgusting comparison and was met with several links to articles about pedophilia and nasty groups that are for it.  Needless to say I told her she was a bigot and filled with hate, and that does not belong on my page, or in my life.  I stopped responding and calmed down with a friend over the phone.  Once I calmed down, I un-friended her.

Not only am I offended by her, or appalled might be more of a correct term.. but I am saddened.  I thought that maybe I could learn more of my mother through her.  I have my dad of course, but no one knows a woman like another woman.  I looked forward to selfishly getting something out the relationship but ended up with hate filling my page.

It’s odd.  I’ve always known about the bigots and the racists and such.  Hell, I’ve run into them out in every day life, but to find out someone that you looked up to and looked to as a child has such hatred in her heart is hard to swallow.  I don’t blame it on Christianity at all either, so don’t start that nonsense.  I know that most Christians aren’t like that, but it’s still hard to wrap my head around.

So I guess this is it.  Sorry Mom, I had to delete your friend.  I’m glad you’re not here anymore because I’d have to ask you what the hell you were thinking in the first place.

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Chronic Pain and Chronic Bitching

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Okay, so as most of you know I’m having a difficult time with my Crohn’s Disease these past few weeks.  So difficult in that which my body decided to plunk itself in the hospital with an obstruction.  I’m back at home now with a high dose of prednisone and am trucking along with a Crohn’s flare.

Sometimes it’s a little much to deal with, especially when you’re like me and don’t voice pain as much as you really should.  Sure people know when I don’t feel good, but beyond Twitter and The Boyfriend, I really don’t whine much.  I try not to.  I think what it comes down to is that when you’re in an immense amount of pain every day, you just kind of deal with it.  You tend to think that people don’t want to hear about your pain, since you’re in it every day.

So you just begin to live with it and bottle it up inside.

A friend of mine was DXed with Fibromyalgia not too long ago, and her and I have always been able to talk about our health issues together.  She was telling me about how her body hurts and when she was done, she said “you know, I don’t really talk about it with people much.  I’m afraid they’ll think I’m just whining.”  That really hit the nail on the head.   When some one complains about something long enough, you start to get annoyed.  It turns into whining.  So those of us with pain, immense pain and horrible symptoms eventually just shut our mouths.

A few months ago I made it a point to start saying when I really felt sick.  Like oh my god I’m dying sick.  Yet it’s hard to stick with.  For instance, today I was having major problems.  Immediately after my break at work, Crohn’s decided that it was time for me to live in the bathroom.  So I ran past my appointment and locked myself in.  My stomach felt like it was being ripped out for HOURS.  Yet when a coworker asked if I was okay, I just said “Oh, just my tummy hurting.  No worries.”  I had told her my stomach hurt bad yesterday, I didn’t want to continue on about it.

The downfall of bottling it up though can cost you someone else’s feelings.  When you spend your entire day pretending that your body isn’t on fire, and being quiet about it, you start losing the ability to be sympathetic for others.  I have to remind myself that even though   *I* can deal with pain and being sick quite well (hey, 5 years experience, haha) other’s can’t.  So while I can suffer through work with pneumonia, a cold will put others on their asses.  Hell, when The Boyfriend had the stomach flu yesterday, I had to remind myself he’s not used to.  That he felt like crap, that I wasn’t the only one.

Internalizing pain, stress and whatever else doesn’t help anyone.  The question is though, if you have a Chronic Illness or Chronic Pain, and you are honest about it, when is enough enough?  When is it whining?  When do people stop believing you?  Ah, the life of a patient.